the caterpillar and i
i pressed my face against some sand and blew into it creating whirl winds that blinded a caterpillar that had just become comfortable with his new sexuality.
his brand new sexuality.
a shiny new sexuality is in store! haha just you wait! you’ll see! it’ll be great. all your friends will be there!
anyway, the caterpillar decided that he didn’t like sand being blown in his face like a little bitch. he blew sand at me back. i was blinded! ahhh!
there must be a way to safely communicate with this caterpillar. but how?
i started eating leaves. but the caterpillar looked away unimpressed. what a snob, eh? haha jeez louise.
i swallowed the leaves as i thought of another idea.
i know! i’ll make a cuccoon and turn into a beautiful butterfly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i made it and was in there for a long while. a very long while. i think i overstayed. when i came out the caterpillar had vanished, but he left a note, it said:
“you took too long, i had to go. but you’ll see me again. i assure you. i love you…”
ohh nooo here we go again. WHAT AN ORDEAL. ugh GOD. what the FUCK.
0000
task force 0 comes around the corner. there are 5 of the so-called heroes. one of them trips and falls into a garbage can.
“lets save the day” says the one with a soul patch.
“yeah, true. lol” says the one with a flea collar.
“i’m saving the day right now!” says the one who is super funny and awesome.
The one that fell into a garbage stopped eating the garbage and says: “garbage rules”
off they went to save the day.
Black Dice Plays “Outer Body Drifter” in the Studio (by pitchforktv)
http://blondewig.bandcamp.com/album/playtime
available on tape. black c30,
errrriiiicccc ccocppppelellalalaandndnndd
farted
george: hey, i’m back!
*sniffs*
dude, did you fart?
karl: um…no?
george: dude you totally farted man i can smell fart everywhere
karl: dude i didn’t fart ok i swear to GOD
george: dude just admit that you farted we’re room-mates it’s alright
karl: dude how dare you just STORM in here and demand answers! i’m just sitting here, trying to keep it real, and then YOU come along, throwing these CRAZY accusations around, saying i… what was it again? FARTED? dude grow up, man. you need to learn some stuff, bro. you got some things to sort out, in your head and stuff man, seriously, dude, you need help, you need some profesh help, bra, like, come on, dude, like, fuck, man, jeez.
george: ugh dude i can smell fart and youre the only one here just ADMIT IT MAN. COME ON JUST ADMIT IT. YOU FARTED. YOU FARTED!!!
karl: DUDE I DIDN’T FART OK JUST DROP IT AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
george: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
karl: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
george: AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
karl: ok i farted, fuck off big deal look whos the big man now, yeah look at you, congrats, dude you were right who cares whoop dee do whoop dee fuckin’ doo blah blah blah bing bang bong yeah soak up the glory man soak it aaaaall in yeah youre the man dude.
george: haha i knew it.
the end.
